The Real Resume
Worked on Chicago & Northwestern Rwy. long-distance freight trains. Traveled the prairies with engineers who had driven tanks through Europe in WWII. Actually operated a steam engine in a small-town Illinois scrap steel yard.
Enrolled at Northwestern University in Journalism. Dropped out sophomore year and enlisted in the Army as a helicopter pilot trainee.
Befriended an officer cadet who took off for Canada. Army rewarded me by kicking me out of pilot school. Briefly posted to a Nike guided missile site in Indiana, defending Chicago against Russian nuclear attack.
Volunteered for duty in Vietnam. Arrived in June 1970; posted to 4th Psychological Operations Gp. Performed general soldier duties; defended the camp bunker line at night. Ducked sporadic rocket attacks, aimed at an airbase next door, that hit us instead. Spent weekends in Saigon, trading PX goods for loose women.
Returned to the world; finished up at Northwestern majoring in Speech Communications. Finished first screenplay - Army deserters plotting to stay in Saigon after the U.S. withdrawl.
Rode a bicycle from Chicago to Los Angeles. Met a special woman in San Francisco; moved to Honolulu together.
Scraped along in Hawaii for seven years. Wrote TV commercials and promotional hotel sales films. Shot football coaching films. Repaired Volkswagen engines, worked as a private detective chasing runaway teens and adulterous spouses. Worked as a Ford truck mechanic.
Public relations consultant for an energy conservation campaign in Pago Pago, American Samoa. Lost the splendid woman after several tumultuous years, to a lawyer who owned his own valley on Maui.
Finished writing a truly moronic novel. Collaborated on screenplays Street Rumor and Final Approach with a couple of buddies. Developed numerous film treatments that got lost in the abyss of Hollywood.
Decided television had no future. Returned to San Francisco with another woman. Sold imported German auto parts. Customers included Wermacht tank commanders from the Russian front, now repairing Porsches.
After dating 100 women, finally met adorable wife in a laundromat in San Francisco. Began deep immersion into the Chinese Philippine culture.
Sold precision sheet metal computer assemblies. Brought in expensive stainless steel prototyping jobs that dulled our tooling. Self-taught DC circuit analysis.
Realizing my lack of knowledge in the burgeoning industry of personal computers, got a job selling them. Sold networks of computers.
Joined a software startup in the emerging field of supply chain management. Finished writing Sell Til You Drop, a thinly-disguised autobiography. Toured the U.S. demonstrating software at factories. Sold the software company. By now had acquired a comfortable nest egg. Wife retired to day-trading and tennis.
Joined an Indian-based consulting firm. Rode the internet stock bubble sky-high. Rode it back down into the pits. Bailed out on the systems integration business.
Got a job selling high-performance technical/scientific computers. Traveled to Japan selling medical imaging computers. Visited factory in Switzerland and got stranded on the French Riviera on Sept. 11.
Got laid off during Silicon Valley tech bust epidemic. Picked up and went on from there. That’s the story so far…